Stupid Cupid
by Hermeown
Summary: On Valentine's Day, Cupid aimlessly shoots arrows of love unsuspecting citizens of Townsville. What happens when one of those arrows hits a Rowdyruff Boy? *gasp!* Gee, I wonder. Valentine's Day treat for you.
1. Part 1

A/N Happy Valentine's Day! Well, okay, I'm a day late. But I thought I'd offer you all a treat and publish my one-shot, wannabe-episode story. I wrote this literally YEARS ago, but decided to type it up and let you guys tell me what you think. It takes place about sixth season of the show, and it's not really anything like my epic story, for any of you readers. So, as usual, don't mind the grammatical mistakes and typos and whatnot, reviews/comments are appreciated, and I'm more than welcome to suggestions. I will edit this soon. And I own nothing, except the story, obviously. I'm not that cool.

Hope you enjoy it anyway. So without further ado…

**Stupid Cupid**

**Act 1**

_The city of Townsville… a city filled with happy, loving citizens. Happy citizens happily going about their happy, loving lives, sharing their love with flowers, hearts, candies and spa treatments. A city overcome with love and romance, especially on this day of celebration; this celebration of romance, happiness, affection, and inexpensive tokens of love, tokens usually in the form of little cards and stuffed bears holding little plush hearts. _

_Men and women in relationships, from wooing courtships to old married couples, are celebrating the day. _

_Smitten teenagers are going on first dates, sharing milkshakes and holding hands at the drive-in. _

_Even the birds and the bees are getting together, chirping and buzzing happily, lovingly, all in the name of St. Valentine's Day. _

_Oh, look! Here comes Cupid! _

A little man fluttered through the sky looking tired and overworked. He had bristly five-o'clock-shadow, beaten and dilapidated wings, a sack of sharp, heart-shaped arrows, and a chipped, tarnished gold bow. He was lazily shooting arrows left and right, with his drooping eyes staring sleepily ahead.

_Go on, Cupid! Shoot those arrows of love! Show the citizens of Townsville what happiness you can bring to the city! _

Cupid fluttered away, continuing his mindless shooting into downtown Townsville.

_Oh, look! It seems even the children at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten are celebrating the momentous occasion._

The students at Pokey Oaks worked merrily in the classroom, decorating the room with construction paper hearts, cutting out valentines for classmates, and delivering them to friends. Bubbles and Blossom were also in on the fun, the first coloring little pink hearts on one valentine, the other painstakingly counting an enormous pile of them.

"I just have so many!" Blossom exclaimed. The little, pink-eyed, red-haired girl sighed, and calmly put all the valentines in decorated paper bag. "How many did you get, Bubbles?"

"Seventy-two," Bubbles giggled. "What about you, Blossom?"

" Forty-eight," Blossom said, smiling. "What about you, Buttercup?"

Buttercup, on the other hand, was not joining in the festivities. She was a few feet away, building a towering skyscraper with some blocks. She wasn't the least bit interested in the holiday.

"Who cares?" she groaned. "It's just another stupid Hallmark holiday."

"What!" Bubbles gasped. "It is not!"

"Is, too."

"Is not!"

"Is, too!"

"Girls!" Blossom scolded. "Buttercup, what makes you think it's a quote-unquote 'Hallmark holiday?'" Blossom looked at Buttercup curiously. Buttercup sighed and turned around.

"Because," Buttercup began, drawing out the word to demonstrate her undying annoyance. "It is a holiday created by companies to force poor saps into buying gifts for each other, while making other folks cry their eyes out for not having a _boyfriend_ or _girlfriend _or whatever. It was just another day, but people needed to make money between Christmas and Mother's Day, and so they came up with Valentine's Day, to celebrate _love_ and _romance_ and all that other mushy junk. It's a stupid holiday for stupid people and you guys are stupid for caring about it." 

Buttercup snorted and kicked her tower over. Bubbles stared at her aghast, but Blossom simply smiled and eyed Buttercup.

"You might think differently if you actually _had_ a Valentine," she sneered. Buttercup laughed uproariously.

"Who needs a Valentine?" she chuckled. "I don't. I'm absolutely fine without one. And it's not like _you_ guys have one."

"On the contrary, Buttercup…" Blossom started, looking in the direction of their classmate Joey, a somewhat nerdy boy with thick glasses and his nose always in a book.

"Joey!? Joey's not your Valentine!" Buttercup cried. Blossom and Bubbles giggled together.

"He gave me one earlier," Blossom said. "Bubbles has a Valentine, too."

"Nuh uh!" Buttercup retorted.

"Yeah huh!" Bubbles giggled. She looked in the direction of Mike Believe, who caught the girls' eyes and blushed. He waved awkwardly. Blossom and Bubbles giggled even more. Buttercup simply rolled her eyes.

"It doesn't matter. It's stupid anyway."

"I'm telling you, Buttercup, you might think differently if you _did_ have a Valentine," Blossom repeated. Buttercup scuffed.

"I highly doubt it."

Just then, the hotline rang from the corner of the room. Blossom zoomed over in a pink ray of light and answered it.

"Hello?... The Rowdyruff Boys!... Downtown?... We're on it, Mayor!" Blossom hung up the phone. "Come on, girls! Seems the Rowdyruff Boys are causing trouble downtown."

The girls burst through the ceiling and headed towards the city, their baby blue, light pink, and lime green streaks following behind them.

"Hey you rotten brats! Quit throwing eggs at my storefront!" the shopkeeper shouted, shaking his fist angrily.

"Well, if we can't through 'em at your window, I suppose we'll just have to throw them elsewhere," Brick said with a mischievous grin. He and the other Rowdyruff Boys, Boomer and Butch, pelted eggs at the poor shopkeeper, who tried helplessly to dodge them.

"Ten points if you hit the stomach!" Boomer laughed.

"Double if you hit his head!" Butch yelled.

_FWOMP!_

"Fifty points if you tackle the jerk!"

Buttercup zoomed full-force into Butch, crushing him into the pavement. Blossom and Bubbles followed, slamming into Brick and Boomer. The girls and boys started another one of their massive fights, each of them pairing off with their respective counterpart.

Brick and Blossom shot laser-eye beams at each other, heading towards the center of the city, the beams ricocheting off the reflective windows. Bubbles and Boomer rocketed around each other, punching and kicking each other when they were close enough, heading towards the outskirts of town. Butch and Buttercup wrestled each other in mid-air, scratching, kicking, biting, punching, rolling through the air towards the park.

Little did any of them know, fluttering little Cupid was only yards above them. He was still aimlessly shooting off arrows, several of them coming dangerously close to them, hitting other targets instead.

Suddenly, Buttercup slammed Butch into a grassy hill. She grabbed his wrists and pushed, but his strength matched her own, and they struggled against each other.

"When… will you learn… you're no match for me!?" Buttercup panted.

Butch instantly pushed Buttercup off, and slammed her into the ground, the two now trading spaces in battle. Butch sneered.

"I was made for ya, toots!"

They struggled some more, and they still failed to notice Cupid above them. Cupid hovered dangerously close to them, still shooting, and then—

"YOUCH!"

Butch let go, and Buttercup suddenly had the upper hand. She smashed Butch hard into a great oak tree, splintering the tree into a million pieces. Butch lay on the ground, his eyes shut tight, and arms covering his face helplessly. Buttercup jumped into the air triumphantly.

"Ha! I beat you! Ha ha ha!"

Butch slowly opened his eyes, looking wearily at Buttercup. Buttercup danced through the air, punching and kicking to her own music, waving her arms and shaking her hips. Butch sat up and stared at her in awe.

"Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I win! I'm the best! I'm the best! I'm the—" Buttercup stopped and looked at Butch, his mouth sagging, his eyes wide. "What's your problem?"

"I…I…I…"

"What, can't handle defeat?" Buttercup snickered. Then to her horror, Butch smiled.

"I never realized how beautiful you were." Butch smiled at Buttercup tenderly, his eyes drooping with adoration, his shoulders hanging by the heaviness of his new-founded love.

"Wha-what?" Buttercup stammered, completely confused.

Soon enough, the others were flying by, still battling one another. Blossom saw Butch and Buttercup below.

"What are you doing?!" she cried, shooting another beam at Brick. Brick saw them below, too.

"Kick her butt, Butch!" he called.

"But I like her butt," Butch said dreamily. "I don't want to kick it."

Buttercup gasped, and immediately proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him.

"You – better – not – be – looking – at – my – butt!" Buttercup whammed a monstrous punch into Butch's face… but it didn't destroy his enamored look. Buttercup stopped, and simply glared at him.

"What's gotten into you!?"

Butch just smiled warmly.

"Buttercup, I lo—"

Buttercup screamed and punched him in the face. He fell to the ground, knocked cold. Buttercup hovered about him. She looked at him, filled with disgust and confusion. She barely noticed Bubbles quickly eject herself from the fight and fly next to Buttercup, to see what was up.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"He's crazy, that's what!" Buttercup said. The two watched Butch regain conscience, and raise himself off the ground. He shook his head, rubbed his eyes, and then slowly opened them. He immediately spotted Buttercup, and his expression just melted with infatuation.

"Oh, my!" Bubbles cried. "Blossom! You need to come see this!"

Blossom whizzed over.

"Girls, there's no time for—whoa."

Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup stared at Butch, who stared back. Bubbles and Blossom looked at each other, then at Butch, and saw a small arrow sticking into the back of his pants. They looked at him again, then at Buttercup, then at each other. Their faces slowly lit up, and their bodies began to quake until…

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Bubbles and Blossom floated to the ground, overwhelmed with a painful fit of laughter. Buttercup moaned and kicked the air.

"It's not funny! I don't know what's wrong with him!" she screamed.

"Hey, what's going on?" Brick shouted, zooming over to the scene, closely followed by Boomer.

"Yeah, I thought we were fighting!" Boomer exclaimed.

Buttercup floated to the ground, seething. Blossom and Bubbles were rolling in the grass helplessly. Butch also floated to the ground, not taking his puppy-dog eyes off Buttercup. Brick and Boomer were bewildered.

"What's going on?" Brick demanded.

"Butch!" Blossom squealed, trying to breath through her fits. "Is in love!"

"WHAT?!" Brick and Buttercup roared simultaneously.

"Shot!" Bubbles squeaked, also trying to breath. "With… Cupid's… arrow!"

"You're kidding!" Brick said in disbelief. He flew around Butch, and saw the arrow. He gasped and plucked it out from Butch's bottom. Butch did not even notice.

"Cupid! What's this mean?" he asked. Blossom stood up, regaining some composure.

"It means… that Butch is now completely smitten with Buttercup," she explained, stifling laughter. Bubbles stood up, still emitting giggles occasionally. Buttercup seemed poised to kill.

"You mean… he… _likes me?" _Buttercup asked menacingly. Blossom and Bubbles took one look at each, and burst into laughter again. Buttercup's eyes narrowed and she turned to Butch.

"You… little…" She shot forward, but was instantly blocked by Brick and Boomer. They stood in front of their brother, protecting him.

"Stop! It's not his fault!" Boomer said.

"Yeah! He's not really in love with a stupid Powerpuff!" Brick said.

"Well, if you just let me knock some sense into him," Buttercup said, holding up a fist. Blossom and Bubbles were finally ready to speak, all the laughs drained from their bodies.

"No, Buttercup. I think you pummeled him enough," Blossom said. "So, I'm not sure if that works."

"I didn't try hard enough!" Buttercup snarled, lunging at him again. Blossom and Bubbles snatched her arms and held her back.

"Look, I think we should find Cupid. Maybe he can straighten this all out," Blossom suggested.

"Yeah, maybe Pinky here is right," Brick said. "We gotta help him."

Blossom pursed her lips, insulted by the name "Pinky," but decided against saying anything. She went into leader-mode instead.

"Okay, well, obviously Cupid's nearby. Spread out and search for him." She turned to Buttercup. "Buttercup, stay and watch Butch."

"No!" Buttercup said. "I can't stay with him. What if he does something?"

"Like what, _kiss_ you?" Bubbles muttered, before she could stop herself. Buttercup shot her a nasty look.

"This is serious!" she said.

"Don't worry about it, Buttercup. I'm sure you can take care of yourself _and_ lover-boy here," Blossom affirmed. Buttercup's blood began to boil, and she gave Blossom a murderous look. Blossom rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Brick? Boomer? Grab Butch and follow us," she commanded. "Bubbles? Buttercup? Fall out!"

The six flew up into the air, Brick and Boomer holding Butch at each arm, and the Powerpuff Girls in their usual V-formation.


	2. Part 2

**Stupid Cupid**

**Act 2**

"Where is he?" Buttercup cried. Blossom, Bubbles, Brick, Boomer, and Butch zoomed behind Buttercup, as she searched through the skies hopelessly for Cupid.

"He couldn't have gone too far," Brick said, looking around. Blossom scouted the area, her eyes narrow and calculating.

"Maybe if we follow the trail of arrows down below, we might find our culprit," she said, pointing to trail of heart-shaped arrows, scattered all over the park.

"No! Wait! I see him!" Bubbles said, pointing forward. Sure enough, the little exhausted Cupid was still hovering in clouds, still carelessly shooting arrows.

"Aha!" Buttercup exclaimed, and shot forward at rocket-speed towards him. She collided into him, and started whacking him with her fists. She screamed at him, punctuating every word with a good knuckle sandwich.

"You stupid! Old! Freak! You ruin! My life! I hate you! I hate you! Hate you!"

Blossom knocked Buttercup out of the way, and Bubbles grabbed the now bruised and bloody Cupid.

"Buttercup! We need him! Don't kill him!" Blossom reproached.

"Sorry, Mr. Cupid, sir," Bubbles apologized. "We need your help."

Cupid's lip quivered fearfully. He was missing a few teeth, and one eye started to swell.

"I-I think I need a d-d-doctor," he said in a shaky, drawling voice.

"Cupid, sir, you seem to have shot our friend on accident, and well, we need to know how to reverse the enchantment," Blossom explained. Brick and Boomer snickered at the word "friend," but Blossom let it slide. Cupid still quivered in the air, supported by Bubbles.

"Come on, dude, we need an antidote against your stupid crap!" Brick shouted. Tears leaked from Cupid's eyes.

"B-b-but there is no c-c-cure," he stuttered.

"What?!" Buttercup yelled. "No! I oughta—"

Blossom leapt on Buttercup, holding her back.

"But, sir… we need to know how to break the enchantment," Blossom pleaded struggling to hold her sister. Cupid looked down to the ground sadly.

"Unf-f-fortunately, the only way to b-b-break the enchantment is to b-b-break your f-f-friend's heart."

"How am I supposed to do that?" Buttercup yelled, but Cupid simply shook violently and passed out. Bubbles led him gently to the ground, the others trailing down with her. Butch, still held back by his brothers, remained transfixed at Buttercup, who probably never looked more helpless. Brick and Boomer looked just as confused, but thoughtful. Blossom and Bubbles wracked their brains for how Buttercup should go about breaking poor Butch's heart.

"Stupid Cupid! How am I supposed to break his heart?" Buttercup asked, more to herself than anyone else.

"You can always try giving him a nice punch in the face," Boomer suggested. Brick sighed, irritated.

"We tried that, _idiot_," Brick said. "It didn't work."

"I'm not an idiot!" Boomer snapped.

"That's it!" Blossom cried out. "Buttercup, try insulting him. If your fists didn't work, maybe your words will."

Buttercup looked slightly pleased at the idea of insulting Butch. Brick and Boomer looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and let their brother go. Butch simply sank to his knees, still hypnotized by Buttercup. Buttercup stood before him, staring down at him, her mind racing with some of the foulest words she could think.

"You _stupid_, pointy-haired scumbag! You smell worse than dung at the city dump! Your voice is like shards of glass scratched down a chalkboard! Your hair looks like someone stuck your finger in an electrical socket! You're ugly! You're insane! You're a crummy fighter! Green is totally not your color! And I don't like you! I'll never like you! Never, never, never!"

Buttercup's voice grew louder and louder throughout her speech, and her face got closer and closer to Butch's. Buttercup was huffing and puffing by the time she was done. Butch stared at her confused. Brick laughed from behind them.

"Is that the best you can do?" he chortled. Buttercup ignored him and watched Butch.

"Well? Are you broken yet?" she inquired. Butch stared back, confused… then his face twisted into bemusement.

"Your eyes twinkle like little green diamonds."

The others howled with laughter, and Buttercup's lower lip curled. Butch smiled warmly, his head tilting a little to the side. Buttercup kicked the ground and turned around.

"Now what?" she demanded. The laughter died, and Bubbles started bouncing in her spot.

"Oh! Oh! Why not let him down nice and easy?" she suggested.

"That's a good idea," Blossom agreed. Buttercup raised her eyebrows, wondering if it was possible for anything in her life to be "nice and easy." She sighed, defeated, and turned back to Butch. Buttercup then tried to put on the nicest, calmest, and more than anything, most awkward composure ever. Butch still had that goofy look on his face. Buttercup could practically see little hearts fluttering around in his eyes. She had a nasty feeling in her stomach, but remained composed.

"Look, Butch, I just… I just don't like you. I'm not going to. You're not even _really_ in love with me, you're just… you just got hit by Cupid's arrow. It's not… real? Besides, we're enemies, and I'm good, you're bad, you were made to destroy me. So, I'm sorry, but it'll just never work out between us. Okay?"

Buttercup smiled weakly, looking hopefully into Butch's eyes. Butch's face did not change once her entire speech. He then stood up on his knees, scooted forward, and grabbed Buttercup's hand.

"But love, my sweet Buttercup, conquers all!"

Blossom and Bubbles burst into yet another fit of laughter, but Brick and Boomer did not join them. They looked more exasperated and worried.

"Nothing's working!" Brick exclaimed. Buttercup snatched her hand away, jumping back several feet.

"I don't know what else to do!" she shouted. She sank to the ground, absolutely crushed. "I don't want some jerk trailing after me all googly-eyed and lovey-dovey. I'll never have a real life, and I'll never be able to get a job or get married or anything."

"Married?" Bubbles repeated. Buttercup raised her eyebrows, mildly surprised by her own words.

"Well, maybe not that," Buttercup tried to cover up.

"Yeah, like you'll find someone else anyway with this lame-o around," Brick said, looking at Butch dejectedly.

Suddenly, Buttercup's face lit up.

"Someone else…"

Without another beat, Buttercup rushed to Brick and tackled him. He cried out, trying to fight her off, then—

She kissed him.

She planted one right on his lips, holding his face in her hands. Brick attempted to push her off, then, simply out of shock, stopped fighting back.

Boomer and Bubbles sank to the ground, stunned. Blossom made an angry hiss, almost out of annoyance. The biggest reaction, though, came from Butch, whose mouth dropped, his eyes widening. He was horrified.

Buttercup pulled away, and looked lovingly into Brick's eyes. Brick pushed her away, wiping his mouth. Buttercup gazed at Brick, giving him the same look Butch had given her only moments ago.

"Wha-what the heck!?" Brick stammered.

"I love you, Brick," Buttercup said in a singsong voice.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Butch moaned. Everyone gawked at him, and he collapsed, hiding his face in his arms. Buttercup grinned and leapt into the air.

"Yes! It worked!" she said. Brick glared at her, still wiping his mouth. Boomer rushed over to Butch and helped him stand up.

"You okay, dude?" he asked him.

Butch slowly moved his arms away from his face. He kept his watery eyes low, twisted into anguish and rage. Brick stood up and hurried over to Butch, putting his hand on his shoulder. Blossom and Bubbles waited for Butch to say something, anything.

"I'm fine," he finally mumbled. Buttercup dropped to the ground, filled with delight.

"I did it, right? You're not in love with me anymore, right?" she asked. She cackled, feeling triumphant in the event of breaking poor Butch's heart.

Butch looked up at her. Buttercup immediately stopped and looked back at him. They gaped at each other, Butch's expression still infuriated, and Buttercup suddenly feeling a dreadful, acidy sensation of guilt in her lower stomach.

"Yeah, guess so," he replied quietly. He looked back down to the ground. Buttercup had never felt so bad in all her life, and that thought troubled her.

"Alright!" Brick and Boomer exclaimed, slapping high-fives. Brick looked at Buttercup. "Can we go now? I think we've had enough trouble today."

Buttercup couldn't take her eyes off Butch. She nodded, though, and Brick and Boomer soared into the sky and away.

"Come on, Butch!" Boomer called back, his voice trailing in the wind. Butch did not move.

"Yeah, we oughta get back to school," Blossom said awkwardly. She already noticed the unspoken exchange between Butch and Buttercup, and she was beginning to feel uncomfortable. She grabbed Bubbles arm and nudged her into the air.

"Come on, Buttercup," Blossom said softly. Buttercup did not respond, but Blossom didn't push it. She led Bubbles away and towards the school.

Buttercup took a few steps towards Butch. She rubbed her arm, and looked to the side. Before she could decide against it, she spoke to him.

"Um, I'm… I'm sorry, Butch."

"Yeah," Butch said. Buttercup glanced around, and then stepped closer. She grabbed Butch's arm and pulled him up. His eyes were shut tight, his teeth clenched beneath his lips. Buttercup was completely familiar with this display of repressed tears. She felt so sorry for him, despite who he was, despite how happy she was to resolve the situation, and despite her mild irritation with her own emotions.

Then, without a single warning, Buttercup gave Butch a quick peck on the cheek. Butch's eyes snapped open, and rolled slowly up to Buttercup. She was smiling, ever so slightly, her eyes brighter than ever. Butch gaped at her, unsure of how to react.

Suddenly, Buttercup's expression changed.

"If you tell anybody about this, I'll kick your butt so hard it'll make you wish you were never born."

Then she was gone, in a single, lime-green burst of light. Butch watched the green streak zoom away, following the tiny pink and blue specks far away in the sky. Despite himself, Butch grinned.

"Butch!" said a voice far off. Butch looked behind him, then back at the sky ahead. He sighed and shot off through the sky behind.


	3. Note

12/12/09

Hi. Yes, this is a just an A/N, which will probably be moved to the end of Chapter 2 later.

I'm glad you guys like the story so much. :D However, I won't be writing anymore chapters or any sequels. Sorry! Technically, "30 Days" and "Unbridled" are sequels, considering that "Stupid Cupid" is referenced in both, and is filled with even more Butch and Buttercup fluffy goodness. ;) But I just wanted to let you know that I don't have any intentions to write anything else for this. This was written on a whim, and if anything else is in fact written, it'll probably also be on a whim.

Thanks again for reading. You're my inspiration. 3


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